You know how when you’re so used to saying the n-word in private that you almost say it in public, so you abbreviate the word and end up saying “nig” while sweating through your L.L. Bean sweater vest? No? Well, let me show you what that moment looks like:
Seemed like Santorum was revving up to drop a hard “er,” but stumbled and made, if one were to use internet lingo, an “EPIC racial slur FAIL. Lol.” In case you haven’t noticed, “Lol” is the new punctuation because we’re so sensitive. If someone merely responds, “Yes,” with a period to us then clearly that period means, “Yes, you stupid, awful, fucking bitch. Can you leave me alone?” Therefore, we need to type a diffuser like “lol,” to make sure the other person knows that we don’t want them to die in a fire. Thus endeth the lesson in human insecurity via technology.
Anynig, the back story on this clip is that Republican Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum was giving a speech at the Amory in Janesville, Wisconsin to a group of potential voters when he let slip this verbal gaffe. His spokesman Hogan Gidley denied that the GOP candidate almost uttered the n-word:
“Give me a break. That’s unbelievable. What does it say about those that are running with this story that that’s where their mind goes. You know, I’m not going to dignify that with [a response]. That is absolutely ridiculous.”
Unlike Gidlye, people on comment boards have been divided; some believe Santorum was going to let the slur fly, while others believe he said “anti-war government-nik” a la the word beatnik. To quote Bill Lumbergh from Office Space, “Um, yeeeeeeeeah.” Government-nik isn’t a word and even if it were, this isn’t the 1950s where people use words that end with “nik” to describe others.
Let’s appease the Santorum-niks for a moment and imagine that he had no intention of using that slur. Here’s a list of other words he could’ve been trying to say:
NIGER-CONGO (who’s not talking about the Niger-Congo?), NIGHT SCHOOL, KNIGHT RIDER (great TV show), NIGHT STICK (to beat nigs with), NIGHTCLUBS (where nigs hang out), NIGHT NIGHT (a reference to a Kevin Hart bit), NIGHT VISION (to watch out for nigs), NIGHTMARE (a half nig President), NIGELLA (attractive white female chef on Food Network who nigs would sex on), NIGGA PLEASE (Rick Santorum has a black friend, so it’s okay to say it).
Not convinced? Me neither. Santorum was speaking in a confident manner until he got to “nig” and then became discombobulated. Why? Government-nik is not an offensive word and wouldn’t necessarily trip someone up in a speech, especially if s/he is prone to saying it. Some have countered that even if he didn’t say “government-nik,” that doesn’t mean he said “government nigger because “anti-war government nigger” doesn’t even make sense. I agree. It’s doesn’t. Yet haven’t we all, in the heat of the moment, layered a bunch of adjectives on top of each other until what we’re saying doesn’t make sense? Imagine, for example, the line at the post office is unbearably long and you spot one of the employees sitting in her booth with a “lane closed” sign up. Don’t you mumble to yourself: “How’s that flat-foot, fish-eyed fool gonna eat her Yoplait yogart when I have to mail my taxes out?” Just me? I’m the only one whose inner voice is that of an old Black church woman who freely says, “fish-eyed fool?” Okay, I guess this cheese stands alone.
The point is, do I believe that Santorum intended to say the n-word? Yes. Do I expect that after reading this post, some of you will change your minds and agree with me? Eh, not really. Would be awesome if you did, but Blaria pressures no one. What I do think we can all agree on is that during his campaign, Santorum has had a history of uttering head-scratching racial comments including that President Obama should be pro-life because [Santorum] finds “it almost remarkable for a black man to say ‘now we are going to decide who are people and who are not people.” And let’s not forget Santorum’s now infamous remark about Black people and welfare to a mostly white audience in Sioux City, Iowa in early January. He later stated that he didn’t say “Black people are on welfare,” but that Blah people are on welfare. Well, this blah baby’s reaction sums up my feelings about that lame excuse:
Alrighty, Blaria readers, starting tomorrow, I’ll be blogging from the West Coast as I’m doing a week of shows at the Punchline in San Francisco. I hope to keep publishing my posts at 12:30pmEST, but if I’m a little tardy to the party, don’t hold it against me. Thanks!