I think it’s safe to say that this final performance episode will go down in history as one of the worst. No standout performances. No “wow” moments. Nevertheless, we still must crown an American Idol from the final two contestants: 21-year-old Phillip Phillips aka hot White dude who sounds like Dave Matthews and is what I call “a starter White” for Black women who want to try something different at liberal arts college and 16-year-old Jessica Sanchez who sounds like a Black soul singer without that whole pesky thing of, you know, being Black. I know I sound a little sassy, but I don’t mean to because I love, love, love American Idol. And not in some irony-filled, isn’t-this-show-ridiculous, winking fashion. No, I legitimately love AI. Ten minutes before the show starts, I’m like
aka I’m walking down an imaginary soul train in my living room while my boyfriend is like
Only Prince can give you a stank eye that will chill you to the bone while on a conveyor belt like he’s in a Jamiroquai video. My boyfriend is a close second.
