Hey, y’all remember when country superstar, Garth Brooks lost his damn mind, created alter ego Chris Gaines, who basically looked like Harry Potter’s Professor Severus Snape/Alan Rickman’s emo cousin, and released a R&B song called Lost in You, which when you listened to it, decided it wasn’t half bad, so you tried to buy the full-length album on the low while you were shopping at the mall with your Mom, so you ditched her in the Misses section of J.C. Penney’s and headed to the now-defunct Sam Goody Music (because of simple biatches like you trying to Chris Gaines albums and nothing else) to purchase the Gaines album from the $5 dollar bin, but your Mom creeped up behind you, so to save face, you quickly dropped that CD and grabbed Keith Sweat’s Keith Sweat? Guys? Hey, guys? Where are you going? Okay, so maybe that scenario just happened to me. Point is, take that scenario and then add to it the following: ten years later, you’re still such a fan of Chris Gaines that you dressed as him for Halloween, but drunk mofos thought you were Earth Wind & Fire’s Verdine White with a haircut and they kept Ba-de-ya’ing you during the Halloween parade (thankfully, that didn’t happen to me, but if it had, I’d rather be mistaken for Verdine White than Black Chris Gaines. There’s no recovering from that):
Verdine. White. What more do you need to know?
Sadly, those two Chris Gaines scenarios don’t even compare to the hot mess that is now Brian McKnight’s music career.
