Happy eve before Father’s Day Eve, #TeamBlaria! If you’re like me, you’re probably just chilling at home, singing along to some Anita Baker like a recently divorced forty-five year Black woman as a reward for already purchasing your Father’s Day gift. If you’re not like me, that means your procrastinating ass is waiting until the very last minute to walk into Home Depot and turn that shopping experience into a spinoff of Supermarket Sweep called How Many Fucks Do I Give About Father’s Day? None, But If You Do Not Give Me That Last Power Tool, I Will Have To Curb Stomp Your Face a la “American History X.” Not a catchy title, but it’s accurate as hell. Point is, here we are two days before Father’s Day and you haven’t gotten your pops a pressie (abbrev for present) yet. But fear not, as I’m going to navigate you through the dos and don’ts of Father Day gift buying, so that your Dad will react like this when he opens your present:
