#TeamBlaria, as we all know, President Obama’s State of the Union address was last night and basically, the point of these SOTUs is to answer America’s question, which is the same question that’s oft-asked by women in relationships: “Where is this going?” Normally, when a lady asks that of her boo, the dude does this:
But President Obama can’t stand before the nation for an hour and look like he’s a recent college graduate whose parents came to visit him, but didn’t bring any groceries with them, so the college grad’s like, “Uhhhhh, I’m confused. Why are you here?” It would’ve been hella ignorant if Obama did that, so instead, he showed up with some well-thought out shit to say, so he could let America know what the hell he’s done thus far and what he plans on doing in the fyootch (aka future). Even though these SOTUs tend to be mostly for show (the people who agree with the Prez stand up and applaud and the people who don’t stay seated like when one of the losing actors at the Oscars refuses to join in a standing ovation for the actor who won) and are generally not very exciting, this one managed to have some memorable moments. So let’s get to my GIF recap of last night’s State of the Union.
#1) Obama and GOP Senator Mark Kirk doing exploding fist bumps like they were Wesley Snipes & Woody Harrelson in White Men Can’t Jump and had just scammed some assholes in a game of 2 on 2 basketball:
Yes, of course, the reason Obama and Kirk had this moment is because Kirk recently returned to work after suffering a stroke, but for real, for real, as evidenced by his Inauguration, Obama is in his 2nd term and letting loose since he has nothing left to lose. He never did fists bumps during his his 2010 State of the Union speech. He either shook people’s hands sternly like those politicians were teenage boys showing up to Obama’s house to take Malia out on a date or he allowed black women to hug him like this was the end of Die Hard where up until that point John McClane and his wife were an estranged couple, but destroying terrorists brought them back together:
But never a fist bump.