Happy Friday, #TeamBlaria! I’m on my way to a wedding in South Salem, NY (yes, that’s a real place), so I’m going to keep the message of today’s post short and sweet: Tyler Perry, your tomfoolery is the equivalent of a Native American rain dance, except that in this case, you’re not summoning rain; you’re summoning the spirit of every notable African-American to angry pop-lock Michael Jackson Thriller style over to your ass to knock some sense into you. Black people didn’t work this hard so you can create these horrible Madea movies. Okay, so that wasn’t short or sweet, but you’ll understand why I feel this way after watching the movie trailer for Madea’s Witness Protection.
In the groundbreaking film (and by “groundbreaking,” I mean using a shovel to break open the ground and dump this garbage of a movie in there and bury it forever) that comes out today, Madea hides a White family and hilarity ensues because White & Black people are so different! Like Black people say “Chicken WANG” and White chillrens throw pillows at adults because White people don’t raise their kids to respect elders. Thanks for being the worst, Tyler!: