Republican State Representative of Arizona Debbie Lesko proposed a new law which would give employers the power to demand proof that women are on birth control for non-sexual purposes. Ms. Lesko, please heed the advice every Black mom gives her children when she takes them to the hair salon: “Sit your Black ass down and act like you got some sense.” True, Lesko isn’t Black, but the sentiment still applies.
Lesko and this contraception bill is one big all-you-can-eat $5 buffet of “Of Course:” Of Course, yet another Republican is carrying on this war against women; Of Course, Lesko wears what appears to be a turtleneck dickie in the homepage picture on her website. (Bottom line, if can’t properly accessorize your neck, then you can’t tell me what to do with my ovaries.); and Of Course, Lesko is nonsensical in her explanation of the bill’s necessity: we need it because “we live in America and not in the Soviet Union.” What does that mean?! To find out, I hit up the Soviet Union on Gchat to get a response and they wrote: “My name is Bess and I ain’t in this mess.”
But in all seriousness, let’s for the sake of argument, leave the Soviet Union and their non-invasion of privacy ways out of this. The bigger issue is why does Lesko want all Arizonian women to behave like Nicole Kidman in Cold Mountain? Just holding aspirin between their knees while sitting on a porch, knitting a doily, and waiting for their men to come home. And if women choose not to do this, according to Lesko, that’s grounds for getting fired. This isn’t about freedom like she claims, but rather it’s about her and several of her GOP constituents’ thinly disguising their religious-based moral beliefs about women’s bodies as laws that are supposedly in the best interest of America.
This witch hunt on women’s bodies must stop. Or at the very least, don’t smear America’s name while in the process of trying to legislate away rights. Contraception is good. Furthermore, the choice to use contraception as one sees fit is also good. Don’t believe me? Well, let me offer this example: every time I take a birth control pill, my boyfriend does the Maury Povich “you are not the father” dance. What’s more American than the “you are not the father” Maury dance? Ms. Lesko, on behalf of America and my boyfriend, Jon, please stop this crusade.