BUY MY BOOK: YOU CAN’T TOUCH MY HAIR

Team Blaria!!! I HAVE EXCITING NEWS!!

#‎YouCantTouchMYHair, my first ever book, which is being published by Plume Books, is now available for PRE-ORDER!!! WHUT?!?!?!?! Y’all, it feels like I’ve been knighted by Michael Fassbender’s peen – #‎AGirlCanDream – and now I’m in the exclusive club of Dames with Judi Dench and Helen Mirren in which they trash talk Pierce Brosnan and Malcolm MacDowell, because of course that’s what Judi and Helen do. ANYWAY! The point is I’m very excited about this book. It’s a culmination of all the skills I’ve acquired doing stand-up over the past 8 years and blogging over the past four years on my Blaria blog and places like Vulture and Vanity Fair. And I use these skillz to talk about gender (dub X chromosome life rules), race (being black is like wearing Spanx: it’s tight AF in a good way, but also slightly uncomf), and pop culture (The Rock is amazing and if we ever had sex,, he would snap my hips like a wishbone during Thanksgiving. #‎PassTheCranberrySauce). In short, y’all are going to LOVE this book. At least that’s my hope, so go ahead to pre-order it NOW because all those sales count toward first week sales and we’re trying to get this bad boy to debut on the NYT Best Sellers List, which has been a dream of mine.

Special thanks to my lit agent Robert Guinsler, my rockstar editor Kate Napolitano, Jessica Williams for writing the foreword, Plume Books for going on this journey with me, Delina Medhin for the amazing makeup job on the cover, Giselle Macri for killing it with this blonde wig, Mindy Tucker for killing it with the book cover photo, and finally, everyone who reads all my blog posts, recaps, and FB rants over the years. Love you. Mean it. Check out the cover below. You can click on it pre-order and underneath the photo, is a list of places you can purchase the book just by clicking on the name! EEEEP! So excited:

 

PENGUIN

AMAZON

BARNES & NOBLE

BOOKS A MILLION

HUDSON BOOKSELLERS

INDIEBOUND

POWELL’S

TARGET

WALMART

Hoping to be doing an audio version as well and when I find out, I’ll let you know!